I’m Eating a Burger Next to My Vegan DIL—She Keeps Complaining About It

It had been a while since all our family got together so we all decided to have a nice dinner at the time and place that was suitable for everyone, namely my husband, me, our son Sam, his wife Mia, and our granddaughter Grace.

The place was casual, with a cozy atmosphere and a varied menu to please all kinds of eaters. I was looking forward to a great meal, and after scanning the menu, I ordered what I’d been craving for days: a classic American burger with crispy fries at our family dinner. I felt my vegan daughter-in-law roll her eyes, but I ignored it.

Mia, my DIL, is a dedicated vegan, and while I’ve always respected her choices, I also enjoy my own food preferences. We’ve had a few tense moments in the past over our different eating habits, but nothing too serious. However, I didn’t expect this dinner to take such a dramatic turn.
The moment my burger and fries arrived at the table, Mia’s face scrunched up. I thought it was just a casual reaction at first, but then she said, “That’s so much meat. It’s gross.” I brushed it off with a light laugh. “I’m just enjoying my meal, Mia. You’ve got your vegan dish, I’ve got my burger. No harm, right?”

She complained that the smell was foul and making her sick. She didn’t let it go, “It’s just hard for me to sit here with that burger in front of me. You know how bad it is for the environment, right?” I didn’t want to start a fight, so I ignored it and tried my best to focus on my meal.
The other family members seemed uncomfortable, glancing from Mia to me, unsure whether they should get involved. But when I took a bite of my burger, she loudly threatened me that she won’t let me near my granddaughter. She looked at my son, saying, “Your mother is such a bad influence on our daughter. Yet, you say nothing and make me out to be the bad guy.”

I was stunned. She accused me of being a bad person just because of my food choices. I had always respected her veganism, making sure there were plenty of plant-based options when we dined together, but this was a whole new level. I felt humiliated and frustrated. It was supposed to be a peaceful family dinner, and now it felt like we were on opposing sides of an unbridgeable gap.

It hurt much worse that my son, even after listening to her shame me all evening, said nothing. Instead, he asked me if I could consider choosing vegetarian options while dining with them. I got up and left immediately.
My son called me the next day and apologized on behalf of my vegan daughter-in-law. He said that she didn’t call me herself because she had to leave on a business trip. He also asked me if I could come over and babysit Grace for a couple of hours as he had to deal with an important chore.

I told him I would think about it, but honestly, I feel like I’m being taken for granted. I deserve respect, and this isn’t it. I want to turn him down and demand an apology from my DIL. Will that be too much?