It can be hard to juggle relationships with ex-partners, especially when kids are involved. In today’s story, things get even more complicated when the woman has to deal with her ex-husband, who thinks they should help her and her kids with money.
“My husband has two kids from a previous marriage, and I have one.” We don’t have any children together. A 20-minute drive away, his ex-wife lives close by with their kids. At first, she did some annoying things, but nothing too bad.
It seems like she thinks she’s better than me and is quick to judge me when I say I work too much or compare my relationship with my husband to hers. I finally had enough of her one day and told her she needed to move on from her ex-boyfriend and my husband. To my surprise, my husband stood by me, and she stopped acting that way.
“Now this is where things get tricky. For the past 15 years, she hasn’t had a job and depends on my husband giving her more time and money. She’s been using her health problems lately to get my husband to feel sorry for her by asking him to go to doctor’s appointments with her and making up reasons why she can’t drive herself. Even though she has a boyfriend and family close by, she wants to come with us when we take the kids somewhere. Not long ago, she told my husband that she’s not healthy enough to care for her kids. At the moment, they share custody, and the kids stay with us every other weekend and during school breaks.
“She asked me to sell the house I bought before I met my husband and build her a small house on some land close to us.” I was shocked by what she said. She said she would rather stay close to the kids and doesn’t trust us to raise them properly when I offered to have them live with us. She even said that my husband had promised her before I was born. I’m angry and feel disrespected.
Some of my in-laws tell me I don’t need such a big house and that I’m being selfish. It’s annoying that my husband hasn’t said what he thinks either way. It’s hard for me to stand my ground because she’s sick, but I need to.
“But I have chosen to stand my ground. With my husband, I made it clear that I’m not going to sell my house. I told them that my house is an investment in the future of my child. He agreed and said he felt bad about even thinking about it because his ex-wife was sick and putting pressure on him to do so.
He called her and told her she needed to stop playing everyone for a fool and that he would no longer be her boyfriend’s stand-in. She broke down in tears and said she had to go to the emergency room because she was sick. She hung up the phone and blocked both of us. I told her what the rules were in an email. I’m very angry right now.”
It was clear that a lot of people liked the author.
If she isn’t healthy enough to take care of the kids, your husband should get custody. Any other idea means she’s either lying to get what she wants or is so angry she’d rather ignore the kids than let him “win.” The real reason, I think, is that she doesn’t want to start paying your husband child support and lose the money he’s already giving her.
You need to talk to your husband. I can’t believe you would sell your house and use the money to build her a new one. What? What’s the point?
Your in-laws need to stop setting traps near your home. They can build her a house on their land if they want to. They can stay away from your wallet if you don’t let them. You will have to decide if staying with your husband is worth the stress and disrespect if he doesn’t stop this nonsense. TheMeanestGoose on Reddit
I understand why the husband doesn’t want to leave his ex-wife, but if he’s like me, he needs to understand that the ex-wife’s life is not his responsibility and that she has to deal with the results of her actions and behavior. His help will make her worse, and she could get into financial trouble. It won’t be fun for anyone, but it’s time to move on and let her fix her own life. When other people stop letting them get away with things, most people get better. It’s Killarkittens on Reddit.
This is really strange. Your husband should be totally behind you. This needs to end right now. He, not you. If not, he’s involved, and this is a problem between you and everyone else.
It’s okay to not want to help the ex-spouse of your husband. If someone in your family calls you selfish, you can help her out. The cthulularoo on Reddit
The ex sounds a lot like the mother-in-law. The vows he made to her were null and void after the divorce. He doesn’t care that he promised to keep his promises to you. Do not offer your home for sale. Make sure that your money is kept separate, or you might end up helping her out.
Anyone who says you’re selfish needs to step up. She’s not your responsibility, but it looks like the divorce didn’t make your husband lose interest in her. great_content_gramma on Reddit
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