I’m really struggling here and starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I think I’m being gaslit, so what better place to get some clarity than Reddit? Here’s the situation.”

The OP wrote, “We’ve been married for 8 years, and we both have kids from our previous relationships. I treat my wife’s 4 kids like my own. But she doesn’t accept my 10-year-old-son. She barely notices him and acts like he doesn’t exist. The last straw was when during a family celebration my wife shouted at my son that he must get out of the family picture. My heart shattered at that moment.”

The OP explained, “The main issue—and what’s tearing me apart—is how she treats my son. She barely acknowledges him, rarely asks how he’s doing, and generally acts like he’s invisible. Tonight, it hit a breaking point. We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures.”

The man didn’t hide his emotions while proceeding with his story, “I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine. But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, “Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.””
The man wrote, “I felt like my heart shattered in that moment. I completely lost it. I told her that we’re supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own. I feel like she’s drawing lines between “her” kids and “my” son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“For context, my son’s biological mom passed away two years ago. My son only has my wife now as a mother figure. I’m terrified that this rejection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage.”
The OP seems to be questioning his own behavior now, and it feels like he is torn. On the one hand, he defended his own son from being mistreated. On another hand, the man apparently doesn’t want to spoil the relationship with his wife.

He wrote, “Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family? I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness. Am I wrong for expecting her to step up and include him?”