My husband has a 16-year-old daughter from his previous marriage. Recently, she started living with us. Right away,I demanded that she do chores. She stormed out, saying, “Your son does nothing! It’s my dad’s house, I’m not doing a thing!” I replied, “Feel free to leave, then!” The next day, when I returned home, 1 froze in shock: literally all of my son’s belongings were scattered in the hallway. His room was emptied, his clothes and even his favorite video game console were thrown around the house. I found my stepdaughter’s clothes mixed in, too-shirts hung over the furniture. When I finally found her in her room, she just looked at me and said, “If I’m forced to clean, then everyone’s going to deal with a mess

My husband tried talking to her, but she insisted that I was treating her unfairly and accused me of showing favoritism toward my son. Meanwhile, my son has been pulling away and barely talks to her now, frustrated that she’s constantly “stirring things up,” as he puts it. My husband is caught in the middle, wanting to support his daughter but unsure how to address her behavior without causing even more tension. Now, every interaction feels tense, and I feel like an outsider in my own home. I worry that if I push back, I’ll only drive a bigger wedge between me and my stepdaughter-and between my husband and me. But I also don’t want to give in to this behavior. I’m at a complete loss and feel like I’m walking on eggshells every day, not knowing what to say or do. Your advice would mean a lot to me – I don’t know how to approach this situation without risking more strain on my family. Sincerely,
Erin